Dear Mr. Beggar First, let me express my great admiration for what you do. You are an entrepreneur. No, I’m not kidding. A true entrepreneur. You are self-employed. You don’t pay taxes. You choose your hours of work. And you decide when something is not profitable – for instance, you never never work when it rains. Now you, sir, are very successful. You make $75 a day (I appreciate that’s only when it’s a good day!) But some of your colleagues could take a few lessons from you. So I’ve decided to set up Course 101 for Beggars-to-be. Please don’t hesitate to critique and make suggestions. Course 101 for Beggars-To-Be Rule No. 1 The prime rule for success: Location, location, location
Now, if I were begging, I would never choose to beg in front of a church. Beggars have to keep up with the times. No one goes to church on the weekdays. I highly recommend begging in front of a restaurant, especially a successful one, like Schwartz’s. And especially at lunch time. That’s when people throng out - of course you must choose a successful restaurant! Their stomachs are full, they still have their hand on their wallet…and then they see you… poor, hungry…. And that’s when “guilt” kicks in! Let’s face it.
Guilt is the primary emotion that will drive them to give you something. Trust me. Follow this location instruction and your income should go up considerably! Rule No. 2.- The “begging wardrobe:
You must check your “begging wardrobe” before you “go to your location of business” Every entrepreneur will agree: Credibility is terribly important. As a beggar, you must be believable. New shoes will give you away every time! One of the most successful beggars I’ve ever seen was a young boy operating at the “square in the round” in Sienna, Italy. In the morning, he and his father came to check out the spot. (You can see right away these were true professionals. Preparation is “everything!” ) The son was handicapped. He had an immobile leg. He had crutches, but he was impeccably dressed – beautiful sports jacket! But on the job? Torn dirty blouse, holes in his pants, and waving one crutch to bring attention to his plight. You’ve always got to learn from the best! Maybe you too should add a crutch….in Montreal that would be a first! Rule No. 3 – Smoking on the job?
No. No. No!
Never forget you’re a “professional!"
Smoking? at your place of business? NEVER! Rule no. 4 – Look the giver “straight in the eye!” It translates into higher income.
When that person is bending over to drop a few coins into your well worn hat, look the giver straight in the eye. Poverty. Dire Straits. Hunger - these must always be present . Never forget. Life is “theatre.” Begging is "theatre” And theatre must always be staged. But remember, when you look the giver straight in the eye, it makes the giver realize you’re a human being.
That’s worth at least another .25! Smile. Say “thank you.” At the same time, show the correct amount of humility. The Final Rule?
Never, never, show your disgust when your giver is cheap. And has only thrown in $0.25.
Most people aren’t aware that $1.00 is now the going rate. PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT Just think. Follow these rules,
and you may one day find yourself with enough money to throw some into the cup of a beggar....
........WILL YOU?
Will you?
