They were standing in my hall.
To this day I don't remember who they were
or why they were even there
but their moaning got to me
"Oi Vey! At our age!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"How do I get rid of them"
That's the first thought that came into my head.
In fact, that's the "only" thought that came into my head.
All of a sudden the answer hit me.
I didn't hesitate for a second.
5000 years of history kicked in.
I looked them straight in the eye and said,
"Can you help me"
"Of course. Of course we can help you. so how?"
I went straight for the jugular.
"My mother committed suicide."
DEAD SILENCE.
BULLS EYE
You can talk about Sex all you like
BUT 'SUICIDE' IS A DIRTY WORD.
They were paralyzed.
i had pinned my victims to the wall.
I continued.
"My mother committed suicide because she was in a deep depression.
I have inherited her "deep depression" gene.
So when you say, "OI VEY AT OUR AGE"
it triggers my deep depression gene.
So can I ask you a favor.
'Please do not say, "OI VEY AT OUR AGE!!!!!!!!!'"
"OF COURSE, OF COURSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
it didn't take long.
5 minutes later they were gone!
I was fascinated by what happened
So every person I met
I had to tell them the story.
Never in a million years could I have anticipated the reaction.
I have never seen so many smiling faces all of a sudden go completely black.
And in a voice almost inaudible
They told their story...perhaps for the first time.
"My mother committed suicide"
"My father committed suicide"
"My aunt committed suicide"
"My uncle committed suicide"
And saddest of all
"My son committed suicide"
A whole life time keeping this secret....in silence...
and in shame.
Jackie Kennedy Onassis did it differently.
With great dignity. And with great grace.
In fact Jackie Kennedy did everything in her life with great grace....
...including dying.
At the age of 64, Jackie was in the hospital being treated for cancer.
And finally, the last word -
"It's terminal."
At her request, she was released from hospital
and returned to her 5th avenue apartment.
Her devoted partner, Maurice Tempelsman transformed the room beside hers into an office....
....and then the day came.
Her family and friends assembled in the living room.
One by one they were called in and Jackie said goodbye...
(with a touch of advice..."Get another loved one to replace me, don't wait!")
When the last person closed the door to Jackie's room behind them,
the doctor was called in.
A half hour later, her son John went out to make an announcement to the waiting reporters.
"My mother has passed away."
When "suicide" is a dirty word, many older people seize the one way open to them when the pain of living
has become unbearable.
They stop eating.
They die alone.
Once upon a time "sex" was a dirty word. Has the time come for "suicide" to leave its category of the "verboten?"
"Nice people don't talk about suicide"
More and more people are beginning to talk about death, and dying.....and their fears of living out the last years of their
lives decrepit and function less.
If everyone - no matter the age - was given the opportunity to chose to die with grace and with dignity, like Jackie,
everyone else who are close to them would have the opportunity to satisfy their greatest need at that moment in time....
to say, "Goodbye."
"
