This story dates back to the time when I was a practicing lawyer in 1981. It was published in the Montreal Gazette
in my weekly column, Legal Ease. Read it...and Enjoy!
Dear Mr. Minister. Let me tell you about my Gefilte Fish Case.
My friend, Hahamovitch, of Hahamovitich Kosher Imports, was importing Gefilte fish from Manischevitz Food Products in New Jersey.
Now, if you’ve never eaten Gefilte fish, Mr. Minister, let me tell you it’s one of the great ethnic dishes brought into Canada.
To put it very simply, Gefilte fish is made like a hamburger, but only from minced fish instead of fish.
Actually, Mr. Minister, without boasting, and without wanting to insult the excellent Gefilte-fish-makers across the country – including Hahamovitch’s imports - my Auntie Beckie makes the world’s BEST Gefilte fish!
Anyway, Mr. Hahamovitch was importing Gefilte fish swimming around in the broth in a glass jar in the company of one of the carrots that’s used to flavor the broth. Hahamovitich naturally tried to import Gefilte fish under the Tariff Item 12303- - “Fish – prepared or preserved.”
(Duty 11 per cent)
What other tariff category could there be for Gefilte fish?
Mr. Minister, do you have any idea under what Tariff Item Customs wanted Hahamovitch to import Gefilte fish?
“Vegetable Hash!!!!!!!!!!” (Duty 17 ½ per cent!!!!!!!!!!)
Hahamovitch tore into Customs like a Mad Hatter. “Since when does one lone carrot swimming around in the broth turn Gefilte fish into vegetable hash? Vegetable hash is made up of chopped fish or meat with vegetables. In my product, including the broth, vegetables consist of less than 2 ½ pr cent of the total product – and that’s only for purposes of flavoring and color.
If Gefilte fish is a vegetable hash, then a man can have a baby!” (You could tell this was 1981. In 2019, a man DID give birth to a baby!)
Only the Tariff Board in appeal would listen to Hahamovitich, and it ruled that he could import Gefilte fish under the Tariff Item, “Prepared fish.”
Mr. Minister, can you imagine how much money one phone call would have saved Customs – let alone my good friend Hahamovitch?!
Anyway, Mr. Minister, I have a lot more stories, but I know you’re a busy man, and I appreciate your letting me chew off your ear.
Maybe, one day, Mr. Minister, Customs will think of hiring people for their food products section who have actually gone shopping - and maybe, have even done some cooking!
In the meantime, Mr. Minister, I am sending you under separate wrapper a sample of my Auntie Beckie’s Gefilte fish.
Eat it cold, with a little bit of horseradish – and enjoy!
Yours very truly,
Don Hitterweight, Canadian Importer
