“I know how hard the divorce is for you, Lovey-Dovey.
But we still love you very much.
And the nice Judge is letting us share you.”
Lovey-Dovey sat quietly in her mother’s lap
“She can’t understand, you know” George huffed.
“Of course she can. She’s not a baby anymore. She’s 8 years old.”
“Yeah. An 8 year old SCHNAUZER!”
“Ruff!!”
George tried to soften up. “Please, Lorraine. It’s time for Lovey and me to go.”
Lorraine reluctantly handed the lapdog over. “Don’t forget me Lovey-Dovey!”
“So, I’ll bring her back at 4?” Benny grumbled.
Lorraine grabbed a tissue. “Make it 4:30. I have a hair appointment.”
A few months later, Lorraine was again explaining things to Lovey-Dovey.
“I know how it’s hard to see Momsy with a new boyfriend.
But he wants to be your Stepdaddy. And you have 2 stepsisters who also love you.”
“RRRRRRRRRRR!!!” the 2 pitbulls growled.
Later that week, George called in a fury. “Lovey-Dovey has a leg in a cast?!
How can you expose her to your boyfriend’s vicious dogs?
Lorraine explained. “They’re trying to bond with her.
You’re just using this as an excuse to keep Lovey-Dovey away from me.”
“I’m going back to court,” George threatened.
George got full custody of Lovey-Dovey. Lorraine was only allowed bi weekly visits.
She couldn’t bear it. “Lovey will have a breakdown! I’ll have to double her therapy!”
But she had a plan.
She enlisted the help of her friend Shirley who was also Lovey-Dovey’s godmother.
“No way!” Shirley balked. “I’m a chartered accountant not a dog burglar!”
But Lorraine convinced her to join the sting operation.
Dressed in black, and equipped with Lovey’s favourite caviar treats, they staked out George’s condo.
When the coast was clear, they snuck in and dog-knapped Lovey.
George was outraged. He went back to court and got sole custody with no visitation rights.
Lorraine appealed.
IN THE COURTROOM
Lorraine was confident. “That Judge had no right to change our agreement for joint ownership since it was
part of our final divorce judgment.
Give me back my rights to my beloved Lovey-Dovey.”
George jumped to his feet. “A divorce decree can be changed if the parties are unable to cooperate.
Lorraine has been far from cooperative. She took my dog without informing me first!
She’s irresponsible, and cares only about winning her battle with me!”
Should Lorraine get joint ownership back? YOU! Be the Judge.
THE DECISION
“Lovey-Dovey stays with George,” decided the Judge.
“There was ample reason to modify the divorce decree in this case.
George will have sole rights to Lovey-Dovey. Lorraine—leave that poor dog alone!”
Today’s column is based on a case from Alaska. If you have a similar problem, please contact (sponsor) or another lawyer in your province. We are proud to bring you some of the current legal issues from across the country for discussion and debate. To provide compelling entertainment, we have fictionalized the names, the characters and the scenarios in the case. Any resemblance to real people is purely coincidental. In the interest of clarity and brevity, the legal issues in the case have been greatly reduced and simplified. Elissa Bernstein is a lawyer and nationally syndicated columnist. Copyright 1994-2019 Haika Enterprises.
