Good Manners....and the lack of them!

I’m not a great believer in 'good manners.' Mainly because I grew up in an immigrant household.

When you're born in Russia towards the end of the 19th century, and you're starving in a 'shtetl',

who has time to learn 'proper manners!'

Now, my parents as immigrants did have good 'manners.' The Torah gave all Jews a code of behavior.

But immigrants weren’t schooled in Canadian good manners.

So on the way of growing up, not being bound by good manners landed me in situations where 'Canadian angels' feared to tread.

While at the same time, wonderful worlds of possibilities opened up... For instance, would you ever ask someone an improper question?

My friend, Eva, and I were sitting at the counter in the cafeteria,

putting back all the calories we had just lost during our workout.

A question popped into my mouth.

"Eva, what's the difference between Shirley and Pamela?"

"Good manners and the lack of them."

Eva illustrated with a story.

Shirley meets Mary in the street. "Mary, you look gorgeous. Love your hair style. Who did it?

And how much did it cost?"

The next day Shirley went to Mary's hairdresser, got the same cut,

and came home that supper looking GAHJUZ!

The next day it was Pamela's turn to meet Mary on the street.

"Hello Mary."

"Hello Pamela."

Not another word was exchanged.

That evening at the family dinner table, Pamela told about the events of her day.

"I met Mary in the street. She looked just lovely with her new haircut!

I wonder who is Mary’s hairdresser and how much did it cost her?"

Good manners cost Pamela. On the surface, not a big price. Only a haircut.

But, think how wonderful she would have felt looking beautiful.

How much would that have been worth?

But there are sometimes when the truth can grievously hurt...

And that's when good manners must overrule the truth.

I hide my head in shame every time I think of how I acted at that one family event.

I met up with Alice, my husband’s cousin, a great favorite of mine. The sweetest person on earth.

And she looked smashing!

I commented: "Alice, you look lovely!”

Good start, Bernstein! You’re doing great!

Then I said: “You've never look so great!”

Bernstein! Tread with caution, great caution.

Recklessly, I pushed the voice of caution aside.

“In fact, Alice, you used to look terrible!"

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooonoooooooooooooooh!!!

Only one word for me....ASSHOLE!

I still remember the look on Alice’s face. Stunned.

So? What's your best course of action?

When in doubt..........

Keep your mouth shut!

But if silence brings on sleep, then ask questions... but with great care!!!!